I cannot believe I forgot to post our pictures from the adventures we went on this past Valentines Day! We went for a family run in the morning, stopping at a new park and playground to check it out.
I had also made Chris some blueberry and coconut cinnimon rolls with cream cheese frosting for breakfast. He loves big breakfasts 🙂
Then we went to Snoqualmie Falls that afternoon after naps. It surprisingly wasn’t too busy and the falls were RAGING! We had been up there since Caidoc was a baby. It was really fun. It felt like it was practically raining since the falls were so big.
I’m sure you’re wondering, why is Zelie wearing Caidoc’s old PJs? Well, they are our backup outfit in the diaper bag in case something happens. Well, we arrived at the falls and took Zelie out of her seat, covered in poop. Apparently she has merrily been pooping away in her cute outfit all the way up there. *sigh*
Despite the few mishaps along the way, it was a fun day!
While reflecting on how I’m doing as a mom, I’m riddled with the thought that all moms have at one point or another, ” Am I totally screwing up this kid!?” I think I have this thought at least once a day. It is not my personality to make excuses for myself or to cut myself slack. I am painfully aware of my short comings. I am extrmemly critical and expect a lot from myself. This leads me to have a very low opinion of my strengths particularly when it comes to parenting.
I am so very aware of my shortcomings, (temper, inconsistency, unrealistic expectations, and stressing the small stuff) when it comes to parenting, I feel that these charateristics get amplified. I mean, why wouldn’t they? Then you’re short on sleep and sanity, the ugly comes to light. Getting positive reinforcement that you’re trying hard, despite the shortcomings is so important, especially during the hardest times.
I express my insecurity with my parenting usually with sarcasm, which is not the best idea, I’m aware. But for some reason when I do express my concerns, it is over whelming how unhelpful, or even mean people can be. I think that my sarcasm is misinterpreted. Just the other day, when I was bemoaning a conflict with nap time that we have to consistently deal with, I was met with an eyeroll and, “Well, your kids are really scheduled” , as if it was ridiculous for me to have my children on a routine. I didn’t even know what to say.
There is very little room for flexibility in my kids schedule, pretty much anyone who knows me knows that. My kids don’t sleep a lot, and I can assure you, I’ve read every book, and tried every method to change their sleep patterns. What I have discovered is that time, consistency, and a unwavering bedtime routine achieve the best results for us. Do I like this? No. Do I wish my kids would just pass out in their carseats and sleep for hours? Of course. Do I wish other people would have the respect to follow my kids routine so I could get a break? Naturally. What I’ve discovered however is that whenever I do talk about how I parent my kids, I am met by eyerolls, and comments such as, “Just give them Benadryl.” I may not be a great parent, but I know enough to not drug my 2 year old and 9 month old to sleep.
Apparently, my complaining about the difficult aspects of parenting my particular kids is socially unacceptable. I feel like I’m a 25 year old being judged for wearing preteen clothes or something. Instead of encouragement most parents are met with ridiculous unsolicited advice or even critized, as if they did not have their children’s best interest at heart (I believe most do, even if it doesn’t seem like it). I loathe that I feel the pressure to explain and make excuses for my parenting choices.
Despite my shortcomings, I think sympathizing is something I do well, particularly with other parents. You know what another parent needs when they are complaining about another sleepless night? “Wow that sucks. You look great even thought you got no sleep!” Trust me, that parent is raking themselves over the coals of guilt enough by themselves, and, even if they aren’t, being judgey isn’t going to make them feel guilty. I disagree with most of the parenting choices I encounter, but I don’t even bother to say anything to the parents. I hate it when people do that with me, so I’m not about to return the favor.
I struggle with not letting the meanies out there get to me, particularly if they are close in proximity, but something I always try to remember is, “haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate.” And then I feel a little bit better. These little people remind me why I do what I do.
After our soccer class yesterday morning, we headed home for naps and to get ready for our afternoon excursion to the ocean! One of my very favorite things about where we live is that we are 20 minutes from the ocean. Its just gorgeous and not too busy or dirty like it is further north.
The weather was so lovely; crisp, but sunny. Caidoc could not get enough of the “beech!” And happliy dug away. We’ve recently read a book about a crab called Kermit too, so we obviously had to go hunting for him as well. This was Zelie,s first time at the ocean, and she loved it!
All pictures taken with Chris’s iPhone. Love that thing!In his element!Getting her little toes in the sand 🙂Happy as a clam! She kept taking off her cute beach hat.Saltwater State Park. Um, yeah, I’ll take it! That’s me and caidoc you see there, hunting for Kermit.
Remember when I was saying I have a really hard time slowing down? I REALLY do. But yesterday, I just turned off the busy. And it was wonderful. I had such great connecting moments with Caidoc, and he was the happiest I’ve seen him in a long time.
I love the ocean
I was in and out of the water filling up Caidoc’s bucket- WHEE! CHILLY!
Not a single pout or fit all day long. He is generally a happy kid, but yesterday, he was euphoric! I wish you could have heard him on the beach howling with delight over the sand and water! Lesson learned forthis mom: CHILL OUT! Of course, today the house looks like a tornado hit it, and after I got the kids to sleep, I was able to get 45 minutes of sleep before Lady was up to nurse again- starting a very difficult night with her after such a long day. But…worth it.
I have a hard time limiting the amount of shells I bring home.Man, i love this kid.
And, because I love him, I’ll post Husband’s favorite picture of the day…
It was bright. And our selfie game is NOT strong.
Yeiks. This one is a little better.
We don’t really like taking pictures of ourselves, our kids are so much more fun to take pictures of!
Anyways, stay tuned for my 5k post! It was quite an ordeal but I’m pretty proud I rocked it. I owe hubs big time for watching the kids!
I couldn’t wait to blog about this today! As some of you know Husband and I decided to spear head a soccer program for kids Caidoc’s age. It sounds ambitious at first but, we discovered, it’s not as complicated as it sounds. Here is how we got to the idea..
A few months ago we started thinking about putting Caidoc into an organized (ish) sport. I started searching all the different programs around us. He was either too young for most sports (even t-ball) or he had to be potty trained (that’s a work in progress ;). We did not what to have to wait till he was potty trained and so we started looking at toddler soccer programs. We found a couple to try out and so we did just that for a couple weekends in a row.
What we discovered was that the cheapest class for his age would be around 13.50 per class and that you had to sign up for the whole session and if you missed a class it was like throwing away 13 bucks. Uh, not great, especially when a certain toddler has “off” days. Well, we thought maybe it would be worth it if the coaches were great? Well, turns out they were kinda…bleh. Not all bad, but just not worth the money we would be shoveling out.
So, on our way home from the last trial class we tried, hubs and I were talking and I said, “You know all this stuff! We should just have our own class! Haha!” Chris does know all this stuff. Three out of four of the programs we tried with Caidoc, he has actually worked at during college and high school. He played soccer through out high school and college, has his coaching license, and has played on several adult leagues since college. Maybe that’s why we also had such a high standard for what he were willing to pay for? Either way, we were getting frustrated with what we found. We just wanted a super relaxed, wild-toddler friendly, exercise program for our little guy. If he learned gross motor skills, a love of athlectics, and got some socializing in, GREAT!
SO, Chris and I decided, “well, why not see if other parents are interested? We have the tools, we just need bodies!” Turns out, parents were very interested! I went to my fellow mommies-of-toddler-aged-tots from my Kent Moms Group and we set up for a Saturday class with Chris coaching. Today was our first day and I’m so proud of all the kids, parents, and especially Chris (who agreed to all that I was committing him to ;). We are so very excited for where this venture might lead and are so grateful for such supportive friends!
Father son set up. Caidoc has been so excited for the first day!!Warming upZelie, our designated cheerleader. She wants to be out running around with Caidoc SO bad.My handsome menAnd play ball!!! Wait, ..er.Water break with his buddy TobyI think the biggest hit was the ending obstacle course. Everyone rocked it!
My goodness, what fun! Can’t wait till next week!
Stay tuned for more posts this weekend and early next week. Cheers!
I’ve been SO freaking busy! Yesterday, I realized the only time I sat down was to nurse Zelie or drive somewhere! I have a very, very difficult tidme slowing down and relaxing- which sounds silly, but I just get anxious when I sit still, like I’m forgetting something or should be doing something. My poor babies are going to be little stress biscuits if I don’t chill out a little. Chilling out feels nearly impossible though, with so much housework, paperwork, baby work, and errands all.the.time.
This weekend should be a little relaxing, Caidoc has his first soccer class! But I’ll have a whole post up about that Saturday night with any luck! Then I’m hoping to take the kids on an ocean adventure that afternoon. On Sunday I’m running the Seattle Hot Chocolate 5k with some of my Kent moms group ladies. I’m so excited! But also nervous about the kids surviving without mama that early in the morning. I’ll have a post about the run up too. Some friends of ours are probably coming over Sunday for some grilling! Yum! I’m already looking forward to that (yup, it’s Lent all right!) Haha!
So, obviously ,we have a super busy weekend but one that should be fun! I’m really looking forward to all of it. Until all those fun posts are up, here are some pictures of my adorable offspring. You’re welcome 😉
Oddly enough it took me forever to decide what to put on the mantel. I knew right away it wasn’t going to be a TV but after that it took me awhile to decide what was just right.
I loathe mantels with tons of stuff on them, draped this way and that, it just feels so incredibly busy and cluttered. Once I did figure out what I wanted I waited and waited and searched and searched to find all the things cheaply.
Our fire place is one of my favorite feature of our home and is quite a focal point with its large tiling. It may not seem like it, but a lot of thought went into how exactly accent the fireplace with our decorating theme without overwhelming it.
I think in another life I was an interior decorator. Enjoy!
We made a table!! We are very proud. Hubs and I worked super hard on this beauty. From buying the materials to eating our first meal on it was eight days. Not bad since we are total amatures with wood working! (Did I mention hubs also replaced our electrical panel during those eight days!? That’s a whole other story, blah).
We very loosly followed a couple different tutorials on Pinterest but really we made the designed ourselves since we wanted something to reflect our home’s vibe, but also fit our budget.
We started buy selling our old table and chairs to give us capitol (a budget) to work with, sure that meant being without a table and chairs for a couple weeks while we planned and executed the project but, meh! Caidoc thought it was a lark, and to be honest, it wasn’t too much of a pain. It also meant we were “earning” our project so to speak, which is important for me since I like to get carried away with my DIYs 🙂
I’m gonna warn you, those tutorials make it look easy, and we didn’t have all the tools they all kept saying you should have (does anyone!? Seriously who can afford all those?) So beprepared to spend more money than those pins advertise.
All the consternation aside, I’m proud to say we made it within our budget ($110) and even got the exact look we wanted. I think we might make some tweaks but, honestly, I love it. And most importantly, we can now have much more people over for a sit down dinner! Yay!
I FINALLY FINISHED! It’s quite the triumph to be able to say that these days what with a two year old and an eight month old. In all honesty I probably only spent a month putting his room together, it was the planning phase that took me much longer. I wanted to really have his room be just perfect. I think we did achieved that! After we moved into this house I immediately had an idea for Caidoc’s room which was similar to the color scheme of his old room, and boy, did that come in handy! In planning out his room I had three goals in mind;
1. It had to grow with him.
I was so very tempted to go all out “cars and trucks” because I knew he would just love it! Not to mention I could find the cutest ideas all over Pinterest for a toddler boy cars themed room. But, in the end, I knew that it was impractical to set a theme since could very easily he outgrow it in a few months, or a year. So, rather than go with a set theme, I focused on timeless features, and a set up that fit his needs now and leaves ample room for tinkering as different phases come and go.
2. Bright colors.
Our new house has so much natural light which makes decorating much easier. Caidoc’s room is no exception, although in the winter there is significantly less light. I wanted his room to reflect his sweet nature and be bright, happy, and full of life. So I went with a color scheme that is quite cheery. Actually, colors can be rather hard to pick for a boys room if you don’t have a theme, because most of them are very dark and it is easy to end up with the traditional, and rather ho-hum, blue and red, OR you get stuck with “baby” colors- baby blue, whites, sage.. less “manly” looking. Since I wanted this room to grow with him, I wanted to stay away from softer colors that would make the room feel like a nursery.
3. Montessori aspects.
Caidoc responds so well to the Montessori lifestyle and I attribute that to his very strong-willed, confident, and curious nature. Since this is his room after all, I made sure to make it a place that he can ultilize on his own. I ditched the dresser since he can’t reach most of the drawers (and freed up tons of space!), and put all his clothes in small bins under his bed rolled neatly so he can easily see his choices. The bins are labeled to encourage word recognition as well as illustrations to show him what to wear in various types of weather. We upgraded his bed to twin that was really low to the ground so that he can easily get in and out by himself. My goal was that his room was a place where he could learn to help himself- and wow, has it worked!
I also did a bunch of research about Feng Shui for kids rooms (don’t laugh, I totally believe that stuff! Plus anything to harness good vibes 😉 And that is why the bed is “grounded” as much as possible and why there are pictures of himself in his room. It is important for them to be reminded that he is loved and that the space is “his”. Green is also a dominant color because it promotes calming feelings and orange promotes the bright and happy vibe I was going for.
If you are curious where I got certain items I’ll have them all listed at the end. If you are interested in anything homemade I will be posting a couple tutorials in the weeks to come. I apologize in advance for some of the cruddy pictures. I had “help” while I was trying to set this up 😉
Ready?! TA-DA!!!
As Caidoc calls it “OO C!” and point to himself 🙂 This is a plain ol’ wooden letter wrapped in washi tape and secured to the door with command stripsHis mirror, nice and low to the ground so he can see how he dressed himself.A bright button garland to dress up the mirrorSo in love with how his room turned outThis is an awesome airplane my father in law made for Caidoc
I made everything but the canopy, which was another Amazon buy.
I made these book shelves and am quite proud 😉This is a papasan cushion I got for new on OfferUp for 40 bucks! It was from Pier1 and a sand color. I made the cover for it. For a cozy reading nook plush pillows are a necessity. That bear is the first stuffed animal I ever received as a child. His name is Brownie which happens to be one of my nicknames for Caidoc.Caidoc’s bedJust LOVE these birch tree decals
This is his sweet little nightlight that he picked out. I found it on Land of Nod, but it was expensive! So after poking around the found the EXACT same one on Amazon. Win!
This is crate I already had that I turned into a storage ottoman for all his extra blankets. It can hold my weight!This is the right side of the closetGarland above the closet
Here are the clothes bins I was telling you about.Left side of closetThose are photos from his first birthday. In the middle in a sign the lovely Courtney made me . Points if you know where the quote is from 😉
Alright folks, that’s it!
Here is a break down of where I got everything and how much is cost ( I round up). See it’s possible to have a Pinterest worthy adorable toddler room on a very small budget!
Bed and linens: Ikea $50 (bed was on clearance)
Mattress: hand-me-down from Chris’s dad (it is such a comfy mattress!!!)
Crate: Fred Meyer $1
Fabric for pennants, crate upholstery, and cushion cover: Amazon $20
Shelves: handmade, with scrap wood, paint we already had
Dirty clothes bin: Fred Meyer $5
Garbage can: already had from my college days, decorated with tape that we already had
Picture frames: Target $1 each
“Until the very end” sign: hand made by my friend Courtney Cucchiara (who takes orders by the way! Let me know if you’d like her info)
Mirror: Fred Meyer $5
Curtains: Target ~$15 (with coupon and clearance)
Tree wall decals: Amazon ~$20 after tax (we have Amazon Prime to shipping is free for everything)
Canopy frame: Amazon ~$15
Cushion: Pier 1 $40
Orange bin: Ikea ~$10
Pillows in nook: Fred Meyer $5 (clearance baby!)
Faux Fur: Ikea $12
Green clothes bins: Ikea ~$3 each
Monkey bin in closet: gift
Nightlight: Amazon ~ $8
Wooden wall letters: We already had these from our old place but I got them from craftcuts.com I think it was about $30 including shipping
Remember how I said, “The worst was over” when I was talking about my daughters pregnancy? I wasn’t quite right about that.
FYI– don’t read unless you don’t mind some gross body talk!
———-
After the kidney tube was place, it pain was suppose to stop; the pressure on my internal organs should have been completely taken care of. There was even mention that I might not have to have the tube in for the rest of my pregnancy. That news elated me since I could tell emptying the bag and general day to day was going to get more difficult. I didn’t realize how difficult at the time.
That last month and a half was most mentally draining and physically depleting period of my life. It sounds so dramatic when I put it that way, but it’s the truth. I can’t even go into all the details of the day to day because I just don’t like remembering how hard it was. Why was it hard?
The kidney surgery caused some problems. Shortly after the tube was placed some of the pain did go away. But later that day, I discovered I could’t stand upright. I physically could not straighten my back (think Quasimodo) and no one could figure out why. Since the midwives, urologist, OB, and radiologist couldn’t figure out why the tube was not helping my back or kidney pain, Chris, Caidoc and I were in the hospital for appointments and evaluation several times a week and always, always refilling my pain meds. I was on as much Oxycotin, Oxycodine, and Ibprophen that they let pregnant women have.The full body spasms kept happening but usually only at night.
Night was the hardest time, because I had to sleep sitting upright, or my bag wouldn’t drain and my kidney would back up. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep much. I couldn’t lift Caidoc, or much over 5 pounds. I couldn’t get all the way in a shower because I had to keep the bandage dry so I had to most clean myself with wet wash cloths. The bag I had to drain several times at night and many time during the day– several people have asked me if I still had the sensation to pee, and yes, I still peed regularly too, mostly because I was pregnant so I had a lot fluid in me and very little room to store it. Because I was so hot already from being pregnant I was getting night sweats. Due to these sweats the bandage over the tube started pretty much rotting my skin. That patch of my back smelled and it itched like crazy despite changing the bandage.
Because of the pain meds I couldn’t drive. At all. Which meant I rarely left our apartment. I felt horrible for Caidoc, our poor rambunctious boy was going crazy having to be stuck at home with me. The place was a mess since I couldn’t really clean or even do much than walk to the kitchen to fix Caidoc food.
All the doctors kept telling me the same thing; “Well, you could just have a c-section and end all this now.” But since my midwives and I were not entirely convinced the baby was causing the problem–since the tube should have elevated the kidney blockage– I kept telling them no. But every night when I was propped up in bed shaking from pain and exhaustion, I cried, and cried, longing to have the baby out. But every morning I would remind myself how miserable the recovery from Caidoc’s c section was and that I should just try to hold on a little longer. This baby wasn’t ready to come out.
There were complications being on so many pain meds. I was told there was high risk of the baby coming out with drug withdrawal in I stayed on narcotics till she came out. There seemed to no other way to deal with this amount of pain and still function and care for Caidoc, but I couldn’t stand the thought of our daughter being born with withdrawal so I started researching natural remedies. To keep a very long and arduous narrative short, I’ll talk about what did help me cope with the pain. I tried all sorts of things, pain meds, yoga positions, moving the baby, walking, not moving, laxatives and enemas (it was suggested to me that other ares of the body might be under stress and swelling..yuck), acupuncture, and seeing a chiropractor. The only thing that helped was the chiropractor. I went several times a week and he could straighten out my back each time and it brought relief. But usually, nighttime reset everything, and by morning I was back to being hunched over.
During the month and a half I had the tube in my back I kept trying to wean myself off the meds, knowing it would be better for the baby that way, and probably me as well. When I felt the meds starting to wear off panic would overcome me and I’d frantically dose again because I was so terrified of having full body spasms and ending up paralyzed on the floor again. I was able to do a pretty good job of cutting down the dosages. It was very hard mentally and physically.
I’m standing with my feet really wide apart to I could stand up. I also just went to the chiropractor so I could straighten my spine. It was really difficult to find things to wear being pregnant with the tube and bag on my leg. I wore men XL sweat pants 90% of the time.
It would be wrong to let you think I suffered alone. Help came from so many people. It’s true what they say, when times get tough, you really do find out who your friends are. Chris was heroic. Getting Caidoc out and about, fixing food, driving to the hospital, explaining to work how he needed to come in late again because I needed help, and so many other littles thing I can’t even start to number. The moms group I am a part of in Kent arranged for meals to come every other day for two weeks. That was a godsend. Chris’s dad came over and would play with Caidoc. My mom, as you already know, is a saint. She came down with my younger siblings as often as she could, to take Caidoc and I to parks and out for food ( since I couldn’t drive or walk without assistance that was pretty much the only fresh air we got). My younger siblings would run around and entertain Caidoc while I was able to update my mom on how I was doing. She also did wonderful research on what could possibly be going on, which is how we finally figured out the problem.
My grandpa is a retired urologist. One of the best and most knowledgable physicians out there. How blessed we are to have him as a resource. After hearing about the situation from my mom, he was as equally puzzled as to why the surgery wasn’t relieving all the pain. It took a couple weeks of questions and research but he said he believed that, by no one persons fault, the tube that was placed had poked or pierced my a dorsal nerve on my spine. It was a one in a million type situation but I had all the symptoms. Unfortunately, the only way to deal with it was to do..nothing. Hopefully, the tube being removed after the birth would lessen the damage but there was a chance the pain wouldn’t go away even after that. As fearful as I was that I would have to go on feeling this way even after birth, I was comforted a little by my grandpa saying that if I could stand this pain, natural child birth would be a “piece of cake”. That made me kinda feel like a badass so I resigned myself to keep it together for the baby and for the natural delivery I knew I wanted.
That’s how the last month and a half of my pregnancy went. I kept praying and hoping for a natural birth, a fast labor, and a healthy, happy baby. I NEEDED that. I felt like I wouldn’t be able to handle a difficult recovery or a tough baby after all I had been through. Turns out, with a few more hurdles to overcome, that’s exactly what I got.
