It’s been almost SIX months since our sweet Zelie belle was born and I’m just now getting around to writing her birth story! I know you’re probably thinking “that’s crazy! In all that time you could even find a few minutes to type something up?”
Well, the truth is I probably could have, and that maybe I should have. We been so, so busy, but I’m sure I could have gotten it done over the course of well… Six months 😉
In all honesty, it’s not the whirlwind of life that’s been the only factor in my lack of blogging. Zelie’s birth was so emotionally and physically difficult for me that even thinking back on it is something I don’t want to do.
See, I thought I had experienced the worst pain I’d ever have with my kidney issues during pregnancy, but that turned out to be wrong. If you’d like the full story of what happened after the birth I’ll be happy to tell you. But in my blog, I’m just going to give you the good part, the part where I got to meet my daughter for the first time!
May 15th meant that I was overdue by seven days. I mean seriously, do those “due dates” mean ANYTHING? Anyways, I was still staggering around, trying to stay off the pain meds as much as possible which was hard because on top of the kidney pain, I had been in prodromal labor for about five days. I WAS TIRED. And oh so itchy from the bandage that covered most of my back and in so. Much. Pain. It was just constant. I was pretty used to it though so I was able to walk around and entertain Caidoc fairly well.
That morning started early ( as it always does around here a certain toddler) so I had planned to have a nice day taking Caidoc to a park. I had even made sure I was off meds long enough so I was legally allowed to drive- easier said than done. I had fed Caidoc but we were both still in our pjs when IT HAPPENED.
No, my water didn’t break, but I KNEW it was time. Let me tell you, everything they say is true- when you know, you KNOW.
I called Chris and my doula and my mom. I tried to keep calm for Caidoc which I did pretty well till Chris came home then I just started loosing it.
By the time we got to the hospital I was dilated six cm and was having contractions every two minutes, two minutes apart. I was not very graceful in labor. Chris stayed with Caidoc and my doula stayed with me till my parents showed up to be with Caidoc. I was SCREAMING for an epidural because I couldn’t take the pain on top of the kidney pain.
Let’s just say, my midwife is very sneaky. She kept saying she was ordering it but for “some reason it was taking awhile”.
Needless to say, I didn’t get the epidural I was promised. This made me very mad and I wasn’t very nice about it. I’d say I had a very “Hollywood” labor– LOUD.
We had got the the hospital around 8 am, I was in insane crazy fast labor for four hours and I pushed for 50 minutes.
I’m not going to bother trying to tell you labor or how pushing feels, it’s just something that isn’t really able to be adequatly put into words in my opinion. Especially because each experience is so unique. I’ve been told by some women that literally felt very little pain- that their labor was almost an endorphin high. For most women though, its the most pain they will ever feel un their lifetime. I tended toward the latter, haha!
I have the upmost respect for my pain tolerance now, as does Chris 🙂
Something I will tell you though, is that the elation, triumph and oneness I felt with that sweet little baby once she came out of me was the most amazing feeling in the world.
All I could think, amid all the clamor around me, was, “We did it baby girl. We did it.”
And we did. We both worked so hard and got the unmedicated, natural, VBAC that I had been aiming for for nine months. I felt victorious.
Right after she was born we brought Caidoc in. I know most people’s first child have jealousy issues, but we had worked really hard to make sure that wouldn’t happen and all that work paid off. Caidoc saw Azèlie and immediately held out his arms cooing to hold her. It was a wonderful sight.
(And, I’m happy to report, six months later, they worship each other. We are so lucky!)
Shortly after that Chris and caidoc went home to nap while my mom stayed with me. It was an eventful rest of the day, but–
in the end, all that followed doesn’t really matter, because my goal was a healthy, happy baby. And that’s exactly what I got.