The Nemesis

You know those days when you just feel like you could spend all day cleaning and still have more to do? I had one of those days yesterday. I wouldn’t say I’m as picky about having a clean house as I used to be, but I still like to do several mandatory chores daily (sweeping, cleaning at the end of the day, dishes) and the bigger one’s weekly (changing sheets, dusting, cleaning the bathroom, and vacuuming). It keeps me sane. A clean home is a clean mind and I believe it’s crucial to keep those habits in order to stay somewhat civilized. Let’s face it though, when raising a toddler, a male toddler in particular, you just kinda…let more go.

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This carefully prepared teething popsicle ended up being smeared on both couches, my cream colored curtains, and two walls before it ended its sad life in a puddle on the bathroom floor. That all took less than five minutes.

It’s okay though, I’ve made peace with it. The house is kinda a constant mess (at least SOMEWHERE) and that’s okay. Houses are meant to be lived in. I think the chore I’ve let slide more than others is vacuuming. I still pick up the floor each night (and try and train Caidoc to help), but vacuuming seems to have taken more of a back seat. Maybe because of how Caidoc views The Vacuum.

Ever since he was born, Caidoc has, well, hated the vacuum. I’m pretty sure there was a time when I would just stand outside with Caidoc while Chris vacuumed (all 1000 sq. feet of our apartment, so it’s not like it takes long) or else the miserable child would scream his head off. We don’t have a particularly loud vacuum, so we couldn’t really figure out why he did that. It ended up being chalked up to a “phase”. Little did we know.

As the year progressed and Caidoc became more mobile, the mere sight of the vacuum would send him into hysteria. Being the first time parent that I am, I would quickly put the vacuum away, and just deal with living in filth rather than upset my child. Talk about “phases” eh? Well, I quickly grew tired of this. I would resort to putting Caidoc is a sling, a backpack, or holding him and vacuuming with one hand, anything, anything to just quickly get through the process, all the while reassuring him that everything was fine. I’m not sure why feels lie the vacuum is his enemy, it’s not like I’ve ever vacuumed up a toy, or pretended to vacuum him up, he just seems to hate it.

Well, time went on and Caidoc started walking. This changed everything. With walking came confidence, and with that confidence came the will to fight back. There was no more screaming or crying when the vacuum was pulled out, but a careful evaluation on what tactic’s to unfold.

Caidoc’s first tactic was to offer a blood sacrifice. As I started in the living room, he would hurriedly totter to his room and grab which ever stuffed animal was the most prized that week (usually, his white chicken). Grasping it tightly, he would boldly run back into the living room and throw it in front of the vacuum, hollering as he did so. If the vacuum failed to stop, he would repeat this process till about ten or so stuffed animals were scattered on the floor, making vacuuming impossible. The blood sacrifice worked for a few weeks. Then I moved the stuffed animals to a place where Caidoc couldn’t reach them. But my smart baby was not to be out done.

His second tactic came a month or two later, when the power source of the vacuum was discovered. I would start in the living room as usual, plug in the vacuum and clean away, once I disappeared around the hall, the vacuum would suddenly stop. I would go back into the living room to find Caidoc crouching by the outlet, gripping the cord tightly. Once he saw me, he would drop it and run away, I would plug it back in, and this process would continue until the house was vacuumed (yeah, I would just let him do it, it was easier than putting up with the wailing that occurred if I tried to stop him.) I told myself he was clearly just concerned with defending the house and me from this evil nemesis.

I knew Caidoc’s hatred of the vacuum was no mere phase when he employed tactic number three. One day, as I got out the vacuum to try and get a few swipes in before Caidoc found the plug, I noticed Caidoc was standing closer to his nemesis than he ever had before. Curious to see what would happen, I plugged in the vacuum and turned it on. Caidoc went from standing, to sitting. Right in front of the vacuum. I couldn’t help but admire his bravery. This was no joke, he was serious, he was willing to die for his cause. I tried to maneuver around him, but he would quickly stand up, and plant himself in the vacuum’s path. His plan worked, and I just decided to stop. Recognizing his victory, Caidoc shrieked gleefully and ran to go unplug The Nemesis.

Obviously, I wasn’t going to stop vacuuming forever, and I eventually took out the vacuum again (it had only been about three weeks, what can I say, old habits die hard). As I gingerly opened the closet door and waited to hear the little feet scamper up. There was none. I went to go see what could possibly preoccupy Caidoc over his nemesis. As I wheeled the vacuum into the living room, I saw Caidoc lounging on “his” couch reading from his pile of books. He looked up and…nothing. I plugged in the vacuum and turned it on and…nothing. He wasn’t phased in the slightest.

His typical reading stance
His typical reading stance

I can’t help but feel that there is a lesson there…

 

2 thoughts on “The Nemesis”

  1. Love this story! And this pic of CCR is precious. Not only does it give us a close up of the foot-cloned-from-his-dad, but it also begs the question, “Who cares if it’s upside down?! I LIKE it that way!” LOL

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