I’m sitting on my, well, our bed eating my lemon sorbet, which is one of my favorite treats EVER and it always put me in a good mood. Tonight, the sorbet just adds to the good mood I’ve had all week. One thing makes the top of the list though…
My dearest friend Emily got engaged recently! I couldn’t be happier for her or more thrilled. What’s better than two people in love? Those two people getting married of course! Because, let’s face it, a celebration of love is quite possibly the most wonderful kind of celebration there is. I’ve known Emily a long time and she is my very best friend, which I think made hearing the news all that more exciting. This is the girl I spent many a hour with talking about boys and weddings and love while eating frosting in our dark dorm room in the middle of the night. That’s how all deep conversations happen don’t ya know 😉
So, the chase is over guys! Sorry! She’s one fabulously TAKEN woman! YAY!
My lemon sorbet is melting quickly, so I’ll finish the point I meant to make by this post.
Emily’s awesome news got me thinking back to when I got engaged, and what that meant for me.
Relationships always have a degree of superficiality to them. Come on, admit it, you are not totally, completely one hundred percent yourself around anyone. Some little part of you is always acting a little differently, a little not quite you all the time. This espcially applies during “The Chase” when a guy is after a girl and the dating commences. When you’re dating someone you are almost ALWAYS putting on a show of some sort. You’re either always wearing makeup, or always put on deodorant, or always sitting up straighter or laughing a certain way, something is always not quite genuine. I’m not saying that’s bad! It’s nature! You act that way because there is some tiny part of uncertainty, some tiny part of you that knows that that relationship could end unless you play the charade. I’ve felt that way many times.
But that changed when I got engaged, specifically, the exact moment when Chris got down on one knee and I suddenly was struck to the bone with an intense feeling I’d never felt before.
Peace. I’ve always had a turbulent dating life, but that wasn’t what made this feeling happen. It was in that moment that I had an opportunity to have a relationship that meant no end. I was being offered a opportunity to willing decide that none of the charade mattered between us, and that he would love me even if I wasn’t wearing make up or if I spent too much money, or if I snorted when I laughed, or if I gained ten pounds.
That’s what getting engaged meant to me. It meant no uncertainty. It meant permanence, and in that, peace.
